Wanderings

Diabetes Anniversary…A Reflection

Posted on May 22, 2011 by Wanderer

So bear with me as I try to put my thoughts in the past few days into words, but it isn’t always easy.

On this day, May 22, 1990, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I am 32, and have lived 21 of those with diabetes.

While I would never wish diabetes on anyone else, I celebrate this day. I’m a person who doesn’t like it (I don’t get angry, just don’t like it) when someone says “I wish you never had to go through that” or “I wish I could take it away from you.” My perspective on diabetes is that…I’ve been blessed with it.

Other than a wonderful addiction to Diet Mountain Dew (best drink on Earth), many things in my life are direct result of having diabetes…my wife , kids, confidence, sense of “wandering with a purpose,” hundreds of friendships with others with diabetes, a career where I get to work and play with both a part of the job description, a shared bond of diabetes with my sister – and did I mention the introduction to the wonderful beverage of Diet Mt. Dew? I don’t believe in coincidence, and as a Christian, I don’t think that God gives anything that we cannot handle. Diabetes is something that I have handled, and continue to handle, and use as a gift. This doesn’t mean I don’t have my bad days…my “burnout” days. But those days are outnumbered 100 to 1 by the good days. Not too bad to me when I imagine the unhealthy person I could have been without diabetes, or life without Sarah (who I don’t believe I would have met without diabetes) and, as a result, Josiah and Susan. I wouldn’t trade those things away.

So I’m looking forward to another 21 years…and much more. In celebration, I plan on having…Diet Mt. Dew. Maybe even a couple. Hey, why change a good thing? 🙂

Posted in Camp, Deep Thoughts, Fatherhood, Rambling | Comments Off

Warmth

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Wanderer

So as the weather has been getting warmer (especially since I’m in the South right now, but it has even been getting warmer at home, too) so warmth was on my mind today as I opened the door to step on the porch of the cabin where we’re staying for vacation.

The passage from Ecclesiastes below pretty much explains many of the reasons a marriage works if the two work as one.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Posted in Devotionals | Comments Off

Harmony

Posted on April 17, 2011 by Wanderer

Harmony (noun):
1. The combination of simultaneous musical notes in a chord
2. A pleasing or congruent arrangement of parts
3. An interweaving of differing accounts into a single narrative.

I often think about harmony because when I sing – I rarely sing the melody in songs. I, as well as some people that I was in choir with, had the knack for singing harmony. The songs (at least to me) sounded awesome because of this combination. But I’ve oftent thought (and said as much to my wife) that the harmony wouldn’t be…complete…if it was sung alone. That is why I usually have difficulty with solos. I find that something is missing.

During the past nine years of marriage to Sarah, and twelve years of dating, I find more and more that our lives are being woven into one – as they should be – and it took me this morning to look up the definition of harmony and seeing the third part of the definition to realize that this is harmony, as well. This really explains to me why I feel so complete with Sarah – not just because we are husband and wife. But because God has made that another harmony in my life – something that feels wrong if it is alone.

In 1 Peter 3:8, Peter says “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” So as I am commanded (and feel anyway, so that is a bonus) – I must continue to think of Sarah and I as a whole, instead of two parts. Otherwise…the harmony just wouldn’t sound as beautiful.

Posted in Devotionals | Comments Off

Honor

Posted on April 16, 2011 by Wanderer

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the word “honor.” Whether used to describe me or someone else, it is a word that I seem to be hearing a lot more lately.

Honor is defined as (and I’m only using some of the definitions, mind you):

Honor:
As a noun
1. Privilege
2. One whose worth brings respect
3. An evidence of symbol of distinction
4. A keen sense of ethical conduct or integrity
As a verb
1. To regard or treat with with admiration and respect
2. To give special recognition to

There are many people that I classify as “honorable people.” These are people who, for one or more of the reasons above, are memorable in many ways to me. I strive every day to live up to Romans 12:10 – “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” I must strive to be honorable – not to be honored. I think that I forget about that at times. We must “desire to live honorably in every way” (Hebrews 13:18).

As I find peace and comfort in discipline and structure – “He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored.” While being honored isn’t my goal, the blessing that can be shown to my family by being disciplined in my life – spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, and more – is a goal I should always strive towards. I find that I sometimes need “corrections” in some of my prime earthly areas – doing my daily devotionals, keeping my family’s finances in check (and watching my spending), emotionally investing in my children (not just physical presence) – and if I don’t “listen” to God when he corrects me or gives me guidance, whether that is in my devotionals, through my wife, or something else, than I am doomed.

If I need it in my earthly life, God will honor me on Earth – otherwise, my goal, job, and mission is to be honorable so others can know Him and hopefully see His example.

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Devotionals | Comments Off

Event Horizon(a.k.a. Not all those who wander are lost)

Posted on October 23, 2010 by Wanderer

It has taken me quite a while to put the thoughts and emotions from the past month into words. And, as you can tell from the title (for all 2 of you who might read this), I don’t think I can do this in just one post.

One month ago today my job ended at The Barton Center. For three-and-a-half years as the Camp Joslin Director, and two with all the camps, it was my home. Both literally and figuratively. Working there one minute, and not the next was a very confusing, emotional parting at first…which then downgraded into just plain emotional. And while the rational part of me has now accepted that (and believes it to be the best thing for me), there are still those occasional “please leave me alone” emotional spots. I’ve crossed through that event horizon from one world into another (imagine the “Stargate” television series, walking through the gate…or rather being pushed through it). As the website title (not to mention the post title) implies, I have often thought of myself as a wanderer with a purpose. I usually have a pretty good sense of direction. And only at a few times now do I find myself thinking I’m lost…wandering aimlessly…instead of wandering with a goal in mind.

As I was thinking tonight about the past month I took a look at my blog post from March 20, 2005, when I left my hospital lab job and my home camp, Camp Seale Harris, in Alabama. While I wasn’t at Camp Joslin, Clara Barton Camp, or the Day Camps for 15 years like I was at CSH, they have all been homes for me. They have all allowed me to actually enjoy my work for the majority of the time, which is more than some people can say about their careers/jobs. They all allowed diabetes to be a part of my work, and not just a part of who I was at that time.

I quote from my blog post in 2005 — “Because of it [my diabetes] and His grace, I am able to provide an environment where my wife and soon-to-be-son will, along with myself, grow spiritually as well as professionally.” And you know what? I believe that all of that happened. I even got a daughter out of it, as well. 🙂

So…another era of my life has ended. As with the last one, it is scary. But when I’m not in one of my now-occasional emotional points, I am excited about the unknown next step. I (now) truly hope that I will still be in diabetes camping but that is up to God’s guidance and my perserverance and patience.

I’d be foolish and a liar if I told you that I wasn’t also thinking about the people that I have been blessed and honored to meet over the last five plus years through these camps. I’ve shared quite a few laughs, tears and serious moments with quite a few people. But I think I’ll save that for another evening’s post…

So until then, good night all. I think I may have rambled enough for tonight…Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted in Camp, Deep Thoughts, Devotionals, Griping, On the Road, Rambling | Comments Off

Endings

Posted on August 15, 2010 by Wanderer

Another camp ending has come and gone, and even though the season doesn’t officially end until next weekend with the end of two programs I am in one of my conflicted bittersweet moods.

This summer has been one of the toughest of both my personal and professional lives. It has been composed of being away from my wife and kids for a month, the death of a good friend from camp, and a couple of other things that I’d rather not mention here yet. Add a heaping of self-doubt and I’ve got myself a…difficult summer.

But that’s not to say that the season didn’t have its good points. As always, the time I got to spend with campers and staff was awesome. It was also one of the best summers I’ve had as far as quality and dedication of staff.

I compare this summer to a really good movie. Like the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It is a great series filled with joy, heartache, laughter, sadness, action, and rest. And while it seems that, at times, that you never want it to end there are times that you wish it could be over. Inevitably, however, no matter what you wish for — it will end. It is a sad thing for the end to come but you find solace in the fact that it was a happy ending.

That is where I am now. The season is coming to an end and there is nothing I can do to change that. As with a couple of other things connected to that — I am a conflicted man (and probably will be for the near future). I am watching the ship sail out and wondering what adventures await me as I stand on shore. I know they shall be grand adventures, but I sometimes wonder what the people on that ship will experience.

So the current adventure is over. After watching the ship sail into the west and the sunset, I find myself wiping away the tears of sadness, turning around and walking to the new sunrise that I know will be approaching after a while. It just means a bit of traveling and wandering through the nighttime.

ad astra per aspera — “a rough road leads to the stars”
“not all who wander are lost” — J.R.R Tolkien

Posted in Camp, Deep Thoughts, Fatherhood, Rambling | Comments Off

Almost Spring

Posted on March 6, 2010 by Wanderer

It reached 51 degrees today…nice, sunny, and an almost-warm kind of feeling. It was wonderful!

And yes, I do realize that not more than a month ago I was cheering on the snow as it fell.

But it’s 14 days until spring — and that realization plus the nice weather now after so many days of…of…not niceness — has made me want to cheer on the sun, the spring, and the summer!

Bring it on!

Posted in Deep Thoughts, Rambling | Comments Off

Can You Imagine?

Posted on January 25, 2010 by Wanderer

When I do get the chance to take a drive — a REAL drive (long, aimless, not your normal “Sunday drive”) — I often think about what the land would look like without all the buildings, roads, utility poles…you get the picture. Without the touch of people upon it.

Today was one of those days, of course. It was a wonderful 10 hours of driving. I saw Vasquez Rocks first (see post before this one) and the just drove north into the mountains. After drinking in the mountains I drove through a huge valley for a while before hitting mountains again and heading back to L.A. All in all an outstanding day – even had a chance to see a movie!

Now…if I can just get some solid sleep on my red-eye flight, I’ll be in great shape for heading straight vack to work when I land!

Posted in Deep Thoughts, On the Road | Comments Off

Climbing

Posted on January 24, 2010 by Wanderer

At the end of my weekend in California, I wanted to do something besides sit in a meeting or a hotel room. So I decided to drive (no big surprise there). Last time I was here I drove south for a long while before I had to turn around to head back to Los Angeles for my red-eye flight back home — so this time I went north-ish.

Upon doing a little research I found one place I wanted to go — Vasquez Rocks. Some movies and TV shows have had scenes filmed here, including a few Star Trek ones I remember.

I love wandering!