It has taken me quite a while to put the thoughts and emotions from the past month into words. And, as you can tell from the title (for all 2 of you who might read this), I don’t think I can do this in just one post.
One month ago today my job ended at The Barton Center. For three-and-a-half years as the Camp Joslin Director, and two with all the camps, it was my home. Both literally and figuratively. Working there one minute, and not the next was a very confusing, emotional parting at first…which then downgraded into just plain emotional. And while the rational part of me has now accepted that (and believes it to be the best thing for me), there are still those occasional “please leave me alone” emotional spots. I’ve crossed through that event horizon from one world into another (imagine the “Stargate” television series, walking through the gate…or rather being pushed through it). As the website title (not to mention the post title) implies, I have often thought of myself as a wanderer with a purpose. I usually have a pretty good sense of direction. And only at a few times now do I find myself thinking I’m lost…wandering aimlessly…instead of wandering with a goal in mind.
As I was thinking tonight about the past month I took a look at my blog post from March 20, 2005, when I left my hospital lab job and my home camp, Camp Seale Harris, in Alabama. While I wasn’t at Camp Joslin, Clara Barton Camp, or the Day Camps for 15 years like I was at CSH, they have all been homes for me. They have all allowed me to actually enjoy my work for the majority of the time, which is more than some people can say about their careers/jobs. They all allowed diabetes to be a part of my work, and not just a part of who I was at that time.
I quote from my blog post in 2005 — “Because of it [my diabetes] and His grace, I am able to provide an environment where my wife and soon-to-be-son will, along with myself, grow spiritually as well as professionally.” And you know what? I believe that all of that happened. I even got a daughter out of it, as well. 🙂
So…another era of my life has ended. As with the last one, it is scary. But when I’m not in one of my now-occasional emotional points, I am excited about the unknown next step. I (now) truly hope that I will still be in diabetes camping but that is up to God’s guidance and my perserverance and patience.
I’d be foolish and a liar if I told you that I wasn’t also thinking about the people that I have been blessed and honored to meet over the last five plus years through these camps. I’ve shared quite a few laughs, tears and serious moments with quite a few people. But I think I’ll save that for another evening’s post…
So until then, good night all. I think I may have rambled enough for tonight…Happy Thanksgiving!
